I had my first lie in in who knows how long this morning. The man next door started singing at 7am but I managed to stay in bed until almost 9!
Ben came over this morning and got talking about all things Uganda.
He was telling us about Ugandan marriage. This is a very formal process. The first stage is an introduction. The woman's aunty must initiate this as the man will never speak to the direct family before this state. He is also expected to remain quiet throughout the introduction. The aunty then has to approve of him for the engagement to move to the next stage.
The second introduction involves a gift/payment to the father of the potential bride. They call this the 10,000 shillings, though in reality it can be anything from a bible to a car. In the north of the country the standard price for a bride is 10 cows. If a man is late to the introduction he will also be fined. The father must approve and will give the man a signed letter giving his daughter over for the marriage to be official.
A man can unofficially be married to a woman and have children, but will have no rights if the father signs her over to another. Also, any children born out of wedlock belong to the woman's father and will be factored in to the price for when she does get married. For example, the father may seek 10 cows for his daughter and an additional cow for each of her children.
The letter from the father also allows the husband to take another man to court in the case of adultery. The penalty for this was put in place a long time ago and was a lot of money then. It's either 6 months in prison or 600 shillings. This amount is so low that anyone would be able to find the money.
If the husband has any issues with the marriage he is to refer to his wife's aunty as a sort of marriage counsellor.
The whole family play a really important part in raising children. Girls are sent to their aunty's to be raised and shaped in a way that she deems suitable. Boys are sent to an uncle who bears the same responsibility. That family will also send their children to siblings to raise and so on, until it's difficult to tell which child belongs to who. With the large size of Ugandan families they will all come together once a year, introduce any new children and get to know each other. This helps to prevent siblings accidentally marrying.
After this Ben got talking about our small appetites. Apparently we have been given mzungu portions (smaller) and yet we still feel like we have eaten so much. The Ugandans have mountains of food and will gradually eat through this without speaking. Ben says this is because they will often eat only 1 meal a day and may not know when their next meal is coming so have developed a habit of eating as much as possible while it's there.
Ben then somehow managed to seamlessly change the topic again without drawing breath. This time it was politics. It was odd to learn that Uganda has a president, a prime minister and a king.
He spoke of the relative peace that exists now and their newfound freedom of speech. Ben recalled a different time during the 80s where people could not speak their mind and would be murdered for doing so. People were thrown to the crocodiles during this time for political crimes and so any were bundled in to trucks never to return.
Relative to the bloodshed of those days, the corruption of today's government seems marginal. However, corruption does kill in it's own way. Funds intended for hospitals and aide go missing, never to reach their intended recipients. This causes lack of life saving resource and people die as a result.
We heard a story about someone who had been pulled over for speeding. As the man was wearing professional clothing the police didn't dare ask for a bribe. What happens with this in Uganda is that you are taken straight to court to be tried, with no preparation time or warning. The man was found guilty. The punishment for speeding is 6 months in jail or 300,000 Ugandan shillings. This is a lot of money and if you can't pay then you go straight to jail. Thankfully this man had the money and was free to continue on with his day, but were late for their meeting.
Ben had managed to talk for around 3 hours now in his Morgan Freeman-esque voice. While it was all very interesting, my attention span just isn't that long.
Later in the afternoon we headed to the internet cafe so I could check in to my flight. On the way home a man started to follow us. I'm not sure if he was drunk or a little unstable. As he followed other people shouted for him to leave us alone. Eventually we lost him by entering a supermarket, walking up one aisle and duck/running down another straight out the door again. This was much to the amusement of all the local children. It's tough looking so different sometimes as you are always going to attract the most attention, including the undesirable type.
The experience made us all a little jumpy. On our inevitable trip to Afro Bar we were extra cautious, refusing to engage anyone who spoke to us or called to us as we walked past. We realised we were being ridiculous when we realised that the man we'd been regarding with suspicion was actually a waiter.
The football was on so the bar was busy (Ugandans really love English football), but there was also a man playing cheesy keyboard songs and singing in various languages. It was so odd and surreal and a perfect ending to my trip. Oh Africa, you so crazy, but I sure do love you.
Ben came over this morning and got talking about all things Uganda.
He was telling us about Ugandan marriage. This is a very formal process. The first stage is an introduction. The woman's aunty must initiate this as the man will never speak to the direct family before this state. He is also expected to remain quiet throughout the introduction. The aunty then has to approve of him for the engagement to move to the next stage.
The second introduction involves a gift/payment to the father of the potential bride. They call this the 10,000 shillings, though in reality it can be anything from a bible to a car. In the north of the country the standard price for a bride is 10 cows. If a man is late to the introduction he will also be fined. The father must approve and will give the man a signed letter giving his daughter over for the marriage to be official.
A man can unofficially be married to a woman and have children, but will have no rights if the father signs her over to another. Also, any children born out of wedlock belong to the woman's father and will be factored in to the price for when she does get married. For example, the father may seek 10 cows for his daughter and an additional cow for each of her children.
The letter from the father also allows the husband to take another man to court in the case of adultery. The penalty for this was put in place a long time ago and was a lot of money then. It's either 6 months in prison or 600 shillings. This amount is so low that anyone would be able to find the money.
If the husband has any issues with the marriage he is to refer to his wife's aunty as a sort of marriage counsellor.
The whole family play a really important part in raising children. Girls are sent to their aunty's to be raised and shaped in a way that she deems suitable. Boys are sent to an uncle who bears the same responsibility. That family will also send their children to siblings to raise and so on, until it's difficult to tell which child belongs to who. With the large size of Ugandan families they will all come together once a year, introduce any new children and get to know each other. This helps to prevent siblings accidentally marrying.
After this Ben got talking about our small appetites. Apparently we have been given mzungu portions (smaller) and yet we still feel like we have eaten so much. The Ugandans have mountains of food and will gradually eat through this without speaking. Ben says this is because they will often eat only 1 meal a day and may not know when their next meal is coming so have developed a habit of eating as much as possible while it's there.
Ben then somehow managed to seamlessly change the topic again without drawing breath. This time it was politics. It was odd to learn that Uganda has a president, a prime minister and a king.
He spoke of the relative peace that exists now and their newfound freedom of speech. Ben recalled a different time during the 80s where people could not speak their mind and would be murdered for doing so. People were thrown to the crocodiles during this time for political crimes and so any were bundled in to trucks never to return.
Relative to the bloodshed of those days, the corruption of today's government seems marginal. However, corruption does kill in it's own way. Funds intended for hospitals and aide go missing, never to reach their intended recipients. This causes lack of life saving resource and people die as a result.
We heard a story about someone who had been pulled over for speeding. As the man was wearing professional clothing the police didn't dare ask for a bribe. What happens with this in Uganda is that you are taken straight to court to be tried, with no preparation time or warning. The man was found guilty. The punishment for speeding is 6 months in jail or 300,000 Ugandan shillings. This is a lot of money and if you can't pay then you go straight to jail. Thankfully this man had the money and was free to continue on with his day, but were late for their meeting.
Ben had managed to talk for around 3 hours now in his Morgan Freeman-esque voice. While it was all very interesting, my attention span just isn't that long.
Later in the afternoon we headed to the internet cafe so I could check in to my flight. On the way home a man started to follow us. I'm not sure if he was drunk or a little unstable. As he followed other people shouted for him to leave us alone. Eventually we lost him by entering a supermarket, walking up one aisle and duck/running down another straight out the door again. This was much to the amusement of all the local children. It's tough looking so different sometimes as you are always going to attract the most attention, including the undesirable type.
The experience made us all a little jumpy. On our inevitable trip to Afro Bar we were extra cautious, refusing to engage anyone who spoke to us or called to us as we walked past. We realised we were being ridiculous when we realised that the man we'd been regarding with suspicion was actually a waiter.
The football was on so the bar was busy (Ugandans really love English football), but there was also a man playing cheesy keyboard songs and singing in various languages. It was so odd and surreal and a perfect ending to my trip. Oh Africa, you so crazy, but I sure do love you.
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